There is a major turn of world events unfolding before our very eyes. This is a lot — in many instances, too much for us to handle. We do what we can to manage the way and how often the information is coming through. I don’t think there is anything wrong with establishing boundaries between you and your access to ongoing news. In fact, for the sake of one’s mental health and wellbeing, I think it’s important to do so. Where and how that line needs to be drawn varies from person to person. It is not for any one person to judge how another is coping with the situation at hand.
I’ve struggled with depression my entire life and was clinically diagnosed at the age of 12. As such, I’ve spent a lifetime building and practicing skills to manage and improve my mental health and wellbeing. Focusing on aspects of life that I can control and grounding practices have proven useful, but don’t always resolve the emotions at hand. I know that I need to move forward, and I know that I need to focus on what is within my control. But knowing this doesn’t do anything to calm the scared, angry, sad voice inside me.
I put this confession here because, in truth, it is the only place I feel these words might find a home. I don’t wish to tell everyone how they should or should not be handling the current events, nor do I want to witness others doing just that. I want to be allowed to be sad, scared, angry, and even to implode. I want to scream, cry, express these emotions in any physical form they choose to manifest, and I want to do so without fear of judgement or other’s input on how that should or shouldn’t look.
I have taken some actions to focus on what I can control, such as designating and documenting my time towards job searching, writing, reading, cleaning, taxes, and building skills for freelance audiobook narration. I am working towards various things and I am showing where my time is going, a tangible way of feeling productive. The feeling that all these efforts are futile slip into my mind from time to time. I used to try to erase them from my mind, but I found that like words on paper, trying to erase them at best leaves the imprint still there, or maybe worse, leaves an even greater mark. Nowadays, I try to accept these thoughts as one of many, sit with it for a moment, and let them go. I repeat this as many times as it is necessary.
If you’re also struggling with processing your emotions and reactions to the current state of the world, you’re not alone. Maybe implementing similar practices will help you manage your mental health right now, maybe it won’t. I don’t have the answers for anyone, including myself. But while I am trying to focus on what I can control, I hope all will make an extra effort to be kind to others as the fate of the world continues to feel uncertain. Now more than ever, we need kindness and compassion.